i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
