so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
