Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize