The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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