I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
