I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
