Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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