if you like me you must not know who I am
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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