Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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