It was confusing and full of hummus
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
