I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
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Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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