I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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