my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
