Whod you bang
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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