So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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