What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
