Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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