Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize