Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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