just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
