I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
