Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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