Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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