Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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