WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
