is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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