went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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