I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
