week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
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I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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