I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my mouth tastes like poor choices
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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