Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
