So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
