he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
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Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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