we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
