is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
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im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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