we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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