Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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