that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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