I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
