Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Houston, we have a squirter
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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