Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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