HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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