He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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