i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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