Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
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