so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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