at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize