The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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