This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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