Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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