Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
