come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
