I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
