): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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