I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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